~~~~~~~ XL ~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~     XL     ~~~~~~~

I wanted to say something...
Anything...
I just didn’t have the strength. 
I could speak a truth. 
Or about truth and sadness,
Or of missing tiny comforts...

In another life, perhaps you...
You’d have made it about you. 
You would, and it is...
But, it’s also not. It’s not!
I would have let you, though. 
Because that would still be: 
something. 

I miss you; today of all days. 
I miss your muddled love,
Because at least you loved. 
Poorly, but surely. You did. 
Or, I believed you did,
And that’s nearly equivalent. 

I’d hear you speak of you;
Trials and fears, joys and sorrows. 
I’d turn blind of your razor wit,
I’d bask in your shadow,
I’d banish the calculated chill
From my hungry heart. 

But you were mirage...
I blink, and you are gone. 
The dimness of morning,
The emptiness of space,
I remember, and it’s only me
And crackling paint...

So I allow it, if just today. 
I let loose my heart strings,
Like fingers in the dark. 
Perhaps these words;
My breadcrumbs, could
Guide you nearer on this,
The anniversary of a
Tragic genesis. 

-phoenix
10.27.2018
17:47