Inevitability

Inevitability

Oh how you terrify me, even in my exhilaration...
What truths could I utter that wouldn't be a danger to me?
Why here and now when I was comforted in my corner?
Fickle fate, please cut this thread and save my demons.
Some would think two hearts could be a kindness, ha!
Were I to play with fire, I know of burning at both ends.
I've traversed the wheel anew, and a new demon face
Has met me here, and met fresh cuts to bleed infinitely.
Does it have to hurt my sanctity so effortlessly, dear?
The rhetoric of my wretched physicality, be still? No.
There is no stranger, only the sadness of its ebbing smile.
I should have known, for its known me time and time over.
I long for the longing of its pacifying warmth, but imaginary.
Even when the words refuse to fail me, I know their failure.
The translucence of my character is what stakes me taught.
The freedoms I afford the heart, stealing miles over inches
And holding vigil as I stumble into daylight clasping my face.
It floods when I do not call its name, maniacally laughing.
It feasts upon my choking anguish when it chooses.
I am but the messenger; starving and perspiring silently
As the havoc swarms to wrack me to my fevered core.
I must awaken from this nightmarish impossibility, please.
The truth of it is more than I dare to diminish in artifice,
But this reality only bares with it the eulogy of all before.
Its a tumour in the form of a tremor, claiming false benignity.
This too, shall pass and I will pass round and round again.
Too many sweets have gone to sour on the vine, I fear.
What of the devastations; the yearnings, and misgivings?
Lain by restlessly, then totality, will live trailing in my wake.

-phoenix
9.8.2014