Of a Scorpio
This is not what I was looking for, or even wanted, not exactly.
What had I intended? Happy distraction and companionship,
this becomes uncomfortable and a new cornerstone; or crux.
When was I reconstructed out of such a delicate glass, I ask?
If I’m to be drawn and quartered by the dawn, then dawn alone!
What was I thinking, and how could I have stood so idly by?
I thought to have strangled this interloper, she who twists me.
It isn’t always me when I love you all, or at least not me alone.
How many times have I been here; the rhetoric willed to wretch.
Deep relationships are meant to cost me dearly but sincerely,
Only no one reads the wavelength or takes the offered fine print.
My arms find themselves at odds again, and my hearts at war.
Collateral damages are those I fear the most, and hurting hurts.
This is how I was built, damn you, but to damn you every time.
And what of me when yours abandon the stations they’ve chosen?
Who will mop the blood stains from the floor or turn out the coals?
How long can I stand it before you see me, and see hidden truth?
How long can you stand it before you say you should have known?
We knew it couldn’t be forever because my comfort is my allergy.
You always played the good sport and you allowed my demons.
I never deserved the likes of any of you, I know it and despise you.
But, each day that I’m allowed to breathe you in, it seals my fate!
My name; become a word of hatred and loathing on your tongue.
She has nurtured me to love you and my nature says I must to live.
So I have to be content now; and close the lid on this in silence.
I wish to wander into the safety of oblivion so as to save you anew.
Some would guess that love is so easy for the passions held within,
Can you not see why opinions of the uneducated make me laugh so.
It’s a curse; a flaw in the design, a misstep in making my character,
But the parts all move in time, the joints and pistons all claim to
Be in righted and have rights to the making sense of senselessness.
This is nary a choice, but task, to learn the loveless nature of masses.